The Meaning of Being a Pirate
by angelofmynightmare
Summary: Spoilers inside......Pirate....the last word he spoke to her. He had said it with a smirk on his face, and as he did so, she knew that he knew.


"_Pirate."_

His last word to her. It rang through Elizabeth's head like the bells at the church back at Port Royal. Elizabeth knew, however, that this wouldn't stop after it finished tolling the hour.

Elizabeth had honestly never been this confused in her life. She had never questioned her identity and her heart as much as she had done during the last several minutes. Who was she? It was cliché, but Elizabeth honestly felt that at the moment, that question identified her problem exactly. It was as though she had switched bodies with Jack……two months ago, she wouldn't have ever kissed him to lock him against the mast……two months ago, he would have kept rowing away from the Black Pearl in that longboat. She had become the pirate….and he…..the gentleman? Haha, if there was one thing that Captain Jack Sparrow was not, it was a gentleman.

Elizabeth had never met anyone like him, never met anyone that turned her life so inside out as he had in the last, well, week or so.

Elizabeth sighed leaning her weight against the back of the longboat, the oars in her hands.

Two months ago she had been so sure of herself, so sure of Will. And now….well, what? Now she didn't know what she wanted…..who she wanted. Will was so safe, familiar. He made her happy, and had done so for a long time…almost as long as she could remember. Elizabeth knew that he loved her…..had loved her?…..with every inch of his heart. She loved him back….she was sure of it.

But did she want him?

Did she yearn for him with every ounce of her soul?

Elizabeth pulled again at the oars, the boat drifting from the weeds and out into deeper water. Tia Dalma's house had long ago faded into the darkness, and Elizabeth felt a great sense of relief and security to be out on the open water again. Ironic. It struck her as odd that the thing that Jack had feared so much was now her safe haven.

Jack…….How could she describe Jack? Jack was as new and different to Elizabeth as Will was familiar. He made her laugh, made her smile, made her want to rip out his hair and pound on his nose. He infuriated her in a way that made her happy.

The compass hadn't lied. She had a thing for Jack. Elizabeth didn't necessarily have the fondness of him that she had of Will….and she certainly didn't love him. Yet there was no denying it; Elizabeth liked him……..a lot. Kissing him had been amazing. He hadn't grabbed her hair, or run his hands over her face, but had instead responded only with his mouth, as though the rest of his body was in total shock. And god, did he respond with his mouth. Will wasn't a bad kisser, but she had never had a man kiss her in the way that Jack did, in a way that made her want to shove him against a door and let him have her. Jack was very experienced, she could tell. He had made her forget for several moments about why she was kissing him in the first place. That is, if her first place really was to lock him against the mast.

Elizabeth moaned softly, clutching her arms around her chest. Why had she done it? To save herself, Will, and the crew? Looking back on it, the Kraken had attacked the ship even after Jack had left at first. It was possible that she could have let him come with them, and the Kraken would have not noticed and just destroyed the Black Pearl.

So why had she done it?

Elizabeth sighed, rubbing her eyes and adjusting her back to a more comfortable position. It was more for the fact that she knew that Jack was a cursed man. Even if they did escape, the chances that the _Flying Dutchman_ wouldn't hunt them down again were slim. Jack was born to be in the water, and there wasn't much of a chance that anyone could keep him off it, even if it meant having to deal with the Kraken possibly again.

So what about Elizabeth? She loved the sea too, loved the freedom that came with it, the freedom she had yearned for as long as she could remember. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair, the sun on her face….and, yes, it was true, she loved wearing men's britches.

Jack had called her a pirate, and Elizabeth knew it was true. Her actions earlier had proved that…..no matter how she said it, leaving Jack on the boat was a matter of saving herself. She could have stayed with him, could have been willing to die with the _Pearl_. But she hadn't. She had been the one to cowardly run. But at the same time, it would have been foolish to stay on the boat. That would have been the end of everything. So instead she saved her own ass and left Jack as a human sacrifice.

Elizabeth scowled.

And now she had signed up for a trip to retrieve the man she killed. What was the point of it all? It was like Elizabeth was stuck in a wheel that was forever turning, the same events coming over and over. Save herself, save Will, save Jack, save someone, save herself, save Will, save Jack, save herself…..save Jack.

It wasn't that Elizabeth didn't want Jack back….she did. She honestly missed him, missed his presence, missed his cryptic remarks and rum addiction. Hell, she even missed his swagger…the thing that had pissed her off the most when she first met him. In the name of the lord, there was no reason for any living man to walk like he was on a boat when he wasn't.

Elizabeth smiled. Like she had said before, Jack Sparrow had the sea in his blood. But what was the point of condemning him to death if she was just going to get right back up and try to rescue him again?

Overhead, a bird let out a scream, and Elizabeth realized that the sun had begun to appear on the horizon. For a moment, Elizabeth pondered what would happen if she continued to row, continued on out to sea. But that thought quickly vanished. She was needed to find Jack, she was needed by Will.

Elizabeth leaned back in the boat, pulling the oars back as she headed back to Tia Dalma's house.

Will…..Elizabeth sighed again, realizing that she was going to have to talk to him soon. She knew he had seen her kissing Jack; when she had first locked eyes with him in the long boat, she had seen the confusion and the feeling of betrayal that his eyes held. Elizabeth knew that it would be many months before she would lay eyes on Jack Sparrow, if any of them ever got to at all, that is. For now, she would deal with the other man in her life.

Elizabeth felt the morning breeze rustle her hair, and she smiled tiredly, singing softly under her breath.

"…..a pirate's life for me……."

So, what do you think? I just saw the movie a second time, and I came back just as confused as I did the first time. I know I'm probably the only one, but I actually like the ending of the movie. It just pisses me off that it means that I have to wait another year for more. So….about Jack, Elizabeth, and Will. God, I'm having major mixed feelings about it. I mean, Elizabeth/Will is so perfect, so soul mate-ish. But on the other hand, Jack/Elizabeth is daring, and full of lust and wonder and a newness about it that's refreshing. Gar, I'm so torn. Anyway, I'm just blabbing at this point. Hope you enjoyed. And click that button…it does wonders! (Although I'd recommend actually typing something in that box that comes up. It tends to help.)

Cya……

-k


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